Hi there. My name is Laura Wong. In case you're wondering, yes I am a Chinese. I may or may not have a slight obsession with green tea and daisies. A follower of Christ and a shopaholic.

My blog usually consists of posts which are mostly events or things which made me happy. I don't like to write about unhappy things because I don't want to remember things that pulled me down when I read my posts in the future.

But there are times where I just need a space to express my thoughts and feelings into words. And here I am.

One of the reasons why I hated staying at home without any plans for the day is the fact that I tend to overthink a lot. During Chinese New Year, I had loads of free time which was bad because I sort of used it for the wrong purpose. I felt so low at this point. I knew I deserved better, I knew I should let go of the past, I knew I would get replaced someday, I knew... I knew it all. I hate how helpless I could be at times. 

It is true how things are easier said than done because moving on is definitely not an easy task. Often at times I asked myself, why am I so weak? Why am I allowing matters like these to bring me down when the world has so much for me to offer? Why can't I be stronger? Will I be able to stand up again?

I dwelled on the past so much that I started to drift myself away from God. I stopped reading the bible and tried occupying myself with other things such as watching YouTube videos or just by listening to music. Yes, they do keep my thoughts away for a period of time but slowly, these memories came back to haunt me one by one. If only I could turn back time and prevent myself from getting hurt. 

I knew I needed to put all these to a stop. Decided to open the bible again and I read the book of Psalm, chapter 51 which was recommended by Samuel. It talks about a prayer of repentance by David whom committed a sin. The verse that caught my attention was from verse 10-12 which says 

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."

Reading this book reminded me that I needed a pure heart, cleansed from bitterness, sorrow and unforgiveness. I needed to be connected with God again and constantly fill myself with His words to prevent myself from making the wrong choices. God can lift my burdens and give me the joy I need. 

I need to stop allowing my bad habits of overthinking and constantly reflecting on the past to stop. If they say that time heals all wounds, then I hope it passes faster.